I’m so confused this has been on my mind for so long . Hi Katerina! Then to take revenge on my mom, I started dating this rebound guy which lasted only one month. Unanticipated, unasked, over five years later. Due to moving out of the country with my parents, at the age of 19, our relationship became long distance. I get some answers of “yes” and some of “NO! Romance Writer & Recovering Former Mermaid. But remember, in the end your words mean little if your actions don’t reflect what you say. I’ll wait for the right time to apologize if I have to but when will I know if its the right time? You’re not just ruminating and patting yourself on the back, you’re doing something to remedy the past. Weirdly, whether we like it or not, exes do this all the time– and it’s important not to automatically decide that your ex wants you back. I would like to be friends again but I know that there is a possibility that he has moved on completely and it won’t be an option… which absolutely kills me… But it’s my fault. An ex is in the midst of apologizing to me (via text). Thank you for this article. That’s it. While doing my research for this article, I found the general answer to this question was, NO. Reaching out to her was a big mistake and just set me back years in my recovery. I broke our promises. I know this seems like a cut and dry question. Anything you send him will be a … When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. You have said what I initially believed but started doubting myself. First, however, he thanked me for not lashing out at him right after our break up and said that showed character. In which case most people, even if they have moved on, will still appreciate your effort. At the end of the day you cannot control their reaction, just as much as they couldn’t control yours when you were set on hurting their feelings. So when I tried to contact him, he didn’t really want to have to do anything with me anymore. I just want to say that I understand some of your situation. Or if it will hurt him and delay his own healing process. As a matter of fact, most people dream about their ex-partner every now and then—whether it’s been 5 months or 5 years after the breakup. It’s also easier to manipulate conversation via text as there’s time to think of replies and room for misinterpretation when you can’t see how someone’s sentiments are being delivered. “Hi Alex, just got to the office today and there was an email from out-of-the-blue from my Ex boyfriend who’d dumped me for another woman almost 10 years ago. And I mean NOTHING, not even a reply. How Long Should You Wait for Someone to Love You Back? Everyone speaks as though doing this is such a horrible thing. I have someone I have wanted to apologize to 17 years, but every friend I talk to about it says no way! is there a way you can find out if hes still married? More to the point, it’s ok to acknowledge your progress as a human being, and in doing so, share it with the people you burned along the way. What I really want to know and hope is that is that she found someone who deserves to be with her; someone better than I. I guess this is a selfish reason for an apology but I also want them to know how sorry I am because I think they’d trust love in future. There’s nothing wrong with you getting a pay off from your apology, as long as it’s done with the right intentions. It’s Okay for you to consider taking him back, HOWEVER there’s a reason (or maybe many reasons) you two broke up. An apology isn’t supposed to be easy, it isn’t supposed to be about you, you’re getting a fair trade. . We almost always regret the things we don’t do. No problems, I’m glad this was of use to you . Romance Writer and Recovering Former Mermaid, Someone on question and answer website Quora recently asked, "Why…, Recently I was teaching a teenaged singing student who came…, I'm creeping out of the depths of recent first time…. I don’t want to hurt my current girlfriend either. He called me immediately and asked me if he could still talk to me time to time. No one cares why, even if they are the ones asking. I believe we are on this earth to learn and love, and learn about love. He previously promised me and said that he was not smoking any more which was a lie. The world needs more of it. Like over this past weekend, I got a friend request from an ex-boyfriend I hadn’t seen in 15 years. That too 10–15 long years. If they react badly or call you names, or even worse, ignore your apology altogether; that’s the price you pay for hurting another person. Also having seen my own daughters experience breakups I am more aware of how females view things. If you mean he’ll likely just send a peeved email – well, maybe it’s still worth pursuing. I will then tell that person to change by action, not words so by saying or working up an apology won’t work for me. I have apologized in the past and for all the wrong reasons. LOL So everyone knows everyone’s business. we dont always get what we want. For all these years I have wanted to tell him that I never meant for it to end that way and that I never left him for another guy. I would reach out to her and have that closure. I highly doubt she cares about how bad I feel, and I don’t want to upset her or her family. I was 18 and the jealous type and acted poorly. I have met someone but still feel so sorry for my ex husband. If what you did truly hurt someone, my guess is if they still harbor bad feelings about what you did, the wound never closed anyway. You need to really be back in touch and create what I like to call an open platform of communication where you feel comfortable to reach out to someone without second guessing yourself. Do you think it will be appropriate to send him a letter to his home? I’m glad I’ve found this article… I need a little advice, if you read this in time! I hurt an ex almost 16 years ago and while we have both gone our separate ways, I still feel terrible. I’d be totally weirded out if an ex popped up after 10 years to update me on his marital status, but happy to read as a post on Facebook under public settings. If you decide to stick with no contact, remember to work on improving yourself and your emotional stability. I love him and I know he loved me, we just had our issues. Hi, thanks for your message. So, get to a meet up with her as soon as possible where you can reactivate her … I freaked out and changed my phone number. I’m thinking of apologizing to ex after long 12 years. … I feel as though I may come across sounding like a broken record. I was severely depressed afterwards. When you say you fear your ex will retaliate in anger, if you mean literally try to hurt or damage you, then please do not contact him. I just don’t know if I should apologise to her, I just don’t want to argue with her anymore as we live near each other so will continue to bump into each other, I’m not perfect but I would rather say hi when we bump into each other because I get the feeling she would like the same. I am married and living hundreds of miles away, but I fantasize about sending him a letter. I need to explain myself. But you never know. Her friends are also very angry(which is understandable) with me. Saying sorry could be a big step in them finding their healing. I don’t want to establish a relationship with him again but I feel that I need to make amends with him. Reaching out to your ex won’t make you feel any better and it probably won’t make him feel anything at all. Although, I have some grey areas I thought you could possibly shed some light on for me (if you don’t mind). I told him “I need to talk to you” (out of nerves, I would have worded it a lot better but I’m a bit rubbish when confrontation and it was in passing… I know, that was stupid). Should I let her reach out OR let her initiate contact? Now I am married, have kid. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. In all these years she told me things like “you can’t imagine how much I miss you.. I’ve wanted to apologise for hurting him and explain. It’s been bothering me lately and It is not that I’m looking to get anything from it, but I feel compelled to apologize. I have grown up and realized that I was immature then, and have realized the faults I have made. I guess I don’t really want us getting back together, but I’d just really wanted to explain myself on why I acted that way. Question: My husband wants a divorce, but I don't. I had drunk texted him or one of his family members two weeks ago. And who knows, maybe he finally has his too. I have had one relationship before the first ‘relationship’ with the girl(I’ll refer to her as Priya to maintain anonymity) I want to apologize to, this first relationship ended with the other girl cheating, then I entered into to an unofficial relationship with Priya, after a year I cut off contact with Priya for no reason whatsoever and entered into another relationship with someone else and got cheated on,which I ended when I found out and then entered into a 4th relationship with another girl, during this relationship I got back into contact with Priya and we became best friends(I had not cheated on my girlfriend with Priya). 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